The Meaning of Life
by CltcMistress
Summary: Ch. 3 is up: I took every chance I could to get under the guy’s skin. Having him in denial and simultaneously mooning over me was getting on my nerves. If he wasn’t going to act on his impulses, then I was damn well going to make him act on them.
1. Complete

**Disclaimer: I obviously don't own GW or the characters. If I did, I wouldn't still be paying off student loans...**

This is my first offering in a long series of one-shots. Foxxy challenged me to do a series based on a random list from my iTunes. She's doing this, too. So expect something from her on this matter at some point. I'll warn you, I have a VERY eclectic taste in music. So there may be some really random things thrown at you.

**Here's the premise:** We put our iTunes on random and came up with a playlist to work from. I'm not doing the songs in the order they are on the playlist, but rather whatever song inspires me next will be the one I work from. The rule: incorporate the song in some way into the fic. Not exactly a song fic. But use the lyrics or title or some theme from the song in the story. Mine may be loose at times, but I will do my best to incorporate things as best as possible. At the bottom of each chapter will the the song and artist that inspired that chapter. Titles for each chapter may or may not be the song title. It just depends.

Anyways, I'll try to update at least once a week, but no promises. It just depends on when inspiration strikes and how things flow from my mind through to the keyboard. Please read and review. And enjoy! =)

* * *

Hands gripped the cold metal, fingers flying briefly over a sequence of keys before pulling back on the throttle. His heart stuttered a moment as his soul tried to rip itself from his chest and take flight.

He always loved that sensation. It made him feel complete. For just a moment in time—a fraction of a second, really—he felt whole. Nothing else existed outside that small world of his.

Nothing but the stars as they raced by.

Blue eyes fluttered closed a moment as he felt momentum carry him forward. When he closed his eyes he could pretend that even the stars weren't there to remind him that he was still bound to that earthly body.

He was well and truly alone. Nothing outside him existed. He needed nothing else.

Only one other made him feel as whole as he did in that moment.

The sense of completeness he felt when he heard that one special voice was different than the way he felt now.

Now he was alone. Complete within himself. There was nothing outside himself.

But with her… With her, he felt more. More complete. More whole. Simply more.

Be it the way she said his name or the look in her eyes when she found him lurking in the shadows, something about her made him feel like more. He was still himself. Rather than alone in his existence, she was there to share it with him.

A small smile played on his lips as he thought of her. Thinking of her always made him smile.

-----------------------------

This was her favorite part of the garden, he knew. The roses were in full bloom and the breeze carried the fresh, floral scent. It was the same scent that was burned in his memory, forever associated with her in his mind. She always smelled of roses when she came in from the garden. In those rare moments he could stand beside her as she continued to fulfill her duty, he relished in that comforting smell. Knowing that whenever she smelled of roses she was at her happiest. And when she was happy, he was happy.

This was the only place she could go and not be in direct line of sight. He'd told her once that she shouldn't sneak off to be alone. It wasn't safe. But she brushed off his concern and continued to seek out the sense of seclusion this particular spot gave her. The path in the garden wound back on itself here, and the hedges created a natural wall. It gave the illusion of privacy, but was still close enough that should something happen…

He pushed that thought from his mind. The war was over and he could live in peace. After all, it was a peace he had helped to create and she was still working to maintain. He had earned the right to enjoy his peace. He simply couldn't help but observe potential threats or escape routes wherever he went. That bit of training and cautious nature would be with him for the rest of his life. Particularly around her. Call it instinct; call it human nature. Something in him pulled at his soul when he was around her. Beyond her role in the continuation of peace, he knew she had to stay safe. He felt driven to protect her.

But he wanted more. He needed more in his life than to simply protect her.

And it wasn't purely physical anymore. He needed more than anything to know that she was safe in mind, body and soul. She deserved the best. And he would give her his best.

Taking a deep breath he continued to watch her from where he stood on the path behind her. It didn't matter how often he saw her. Every time she took his breath away and he had to remind himself to continue breathing when he was around her. He relished moments like this. Observing her when she thought herself to be alone.

She leaned back and her hair shifted in the breeze. His heart skipped a beat as the light played over the cascade of silken honey that fell over the back of the bench.

He could be happy watching her like this for the rest of his existence. But not content. He wanted more and he needed more. He needed her.

His eyes glittered as he crept up behind her. While it sometimes rankled him how easy it was to sneak up on her, some small part of him found pleasure in the fact he could always catch her with her guard down.

"Hey, Pretty."

She spun and stood in one motion, unsteady on her feet for a moment. His hands caught her by the elbows, firmly but gently holding her stable until she regained her footing. Her eyes narrowed in irritation, but softened when the smile she'd been holding back finally broke its way through.

"You know I don't like it when you do that." Her words may have been meant to scold him, but there was no bite to them. There never was when she had that look in her eyes.

He smiled. She hadn't backed away from him this time. Absently, he wondered if she realized it and if not, would she when she did? Before she had the chance to do so, he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. He could swear he felt her heart beating through her chest. So brave in a room of diplomats. Or facing a full room of press hounds. But when he held her like this, she shook. His arms wrapped around her tighter.

When her arms wound around his waist, he relaxed. He had hoped she felt the same, he thought she did. But there had always been that inkling of doubt about it. Until now.

"Come with me."

She nodded.

-----------------------------

The beeping on the vidscreen pulled him from his reverie.

Reluctantly he opened his eyes and frowned at the blinking red light. "Hn." He opened the connection and waited for the signal to connect.

The crease between his brows softened and his frown curled up to a small smile. He should have known. She was the only one who could catch him when he guard was down like that.

Honey colored hair framed her face and her smile nearly sent him over the edge.

Now he was complete. No matter how hard he tried to trick himself. No matter how much he worked convince his mind that the empty solitude of space was all he needed, she proved all that wrong. He was never truly whole without her.

With one word she could shatter his illusion and throw him back to himself in an abrupt and jarring manner. He wouldn't have it any other way.

"Heero."

* * *

Song: Chad Kroeger -- Hero (from the Spiderman soundtrack)

Some inspiration came from one line of another song, but I'm saving that song for another story.


	2. Under His Wings

Ok, so this one did not go the way I wanted it to. Duo and I fought long and hard over this particular ficlet. I screamed. He screamed back. I begged. He laughed at me. In the end he got his way. Stubborn little git, he is.

_Italics_ are thoughts

**Warning:** Hope you have some tissues. It's a deathfic. *pout* I tried to avoid it, but Duo got his way and when I asked for backup from the others, they sided with him. So, yeah. There ya go. Sorry. Please, be kind. Read and Review.

* * *

_Everyone leaves in the end. Nobody escapes this world alive._

_I know that all too well. Yet that never seems to make the pain any less. _

"Just hold on a little longer, ok? Just a bit longer…"

_I keep hoping that someday I will be numb to the shock of loss. But that escape never comes._

His lips move as he tries to say something, the words fighting their way through the blood to my ears. I don't tell him that I can't understand. I can't bring myself to tell him. The pain is just too much. "Shhh… Hush," I tell him. "Focus on breathing. You got that?"

_I will never escape the suffering that Fate has determined will be my path in this life. What a bitch._

I brush my hand through his hair, the soft blonde locks now a rusty brown plastered to his forehead. "Don't you quit on me yet."

_He saved me so many times before. So many times I have looked at that light on the other side. And so many times his voice pulled me back._

Another gurgle of blood. I do my best to wipe away the mess. There's just so much. Too much. Where had we gone wrong? The mission had been planned for months. An in-and-out sort of raid. What went wrong?

_Dammit! Answer me. Why?_

His hand grips mind over his heart. Such a strong heart. I watch, willing that heart to keep beating. Thump-bump. Thump-- Bum-- Thump-bump.

_It's not fair. He's always had the strength to call me back from the edge. Why can't I do the same for him? _

The doctors peel my hand from his as the monitor sputters. I watch as they push the gurney through the swing doors. It's not until I feel arms under mine that I realize I've collapsed.

_Come back._

It takes my mind a moment to process that they're pulling me to my feet. Leading me to a bathroom, I don't fight as Heero strips me and guides me into a clean change of clothing. I don't even register what he does with my bloodstained uniform.

_Don't you hear me? Please, come back. You promised! You fucking promised me you wouldn't do this to me!_

I must have fallen asleep. I jump when the door to the waiting room opens and the doctor clears his throat.

_Liar!_

Numb. Not the numbness of escape that I long for. But rather the numb feeling that sets in when the body simply can't handle anymore. I hear them talking around me, but I don't understand the words. They mean nothing to me anymore.

-----------------------------------

"Hey buddy. How ya been?" This time the smile comes easier. Each time it comes easier. "I brought you something." Reaching into my pocket I pull out a small, silver chain.

"I know it's not really your thing. It's not my thing either, for that matter. But I thought you'd like it just the same." The small cross dangles in front of my face, and I watch as the tiny facets of the little piece of metal catch in the light.

I can't help but chuckle a little. "You must think I've lost it."

Silence. "No? I suppose not. You always seem to know what's really on my mind."

A bird chirps nearby and I can hear a woodpecker tapping on the tree above. I love this time of year. It reminds me that life isn't totally filled with pain and loss. There are some bright spots.

"You'd be happy to know I'm doing better. But I guess you probably already know that." Deep breath. Keep breathing.

I search for more words. But none come to mind. At least, nothing I haven't already said, or he doesn't already know.

"Well, I gotta get going. Still have work, y'know."

Slowly, I rise from my squat position at the base of the tree and rest my hand on the cold, grey stone. A year later and it's still hard. You would think I'd be used to saying goodbye now. Draping the cross on top, I use a small rock to hold it there.

"No rest for the wicked, huh? Sorry. You know I can't help being so punny…" It's a bad joke, I know. One he used to groan at when I said it. But I can't resist.

I smile at the picture of his face. The artist did a great job capturing the kind smile and the sparkle in his eyes. The real work came from the wings framing the picture. Gold and silver blend together in the intricate feather patter to make the perfect homage. Even angels had their time, I suppose.

"Rest in peace, Quat. You earned it."

* * *

Song: Gold and Silver -- Stavesacre


	3. Joy Ride

**Disclaimer: I still don't own GW. Otherwise, I'd be making money off this.**

A much happier fic this time. In fact, it's rather smexy. =) Duo kinda jumped into my mind with this song and DEMANDED I write him some citrus. Wufei agreed with him. I put my foot down and said no to the lemon.

_But there is some lime to this chapter as well as language._ **So this chapter is rated M.** This is about as smutty as I get when it comes to writing. So I hope ya'll enjoy it. And just in case you miss it, it's D and W alternating the point of view.

Read, and tell me what ya'll think!

* * *

"Hey, Wufei."

The braided pilot's voice pulled me from my reading. He only used that demanding voice when he really wanted attention. Looking up at him, I had to keep from dropping the book in my lap.

Duo leaned against the frame of the door in his favorite pair of black jeans, a black tank-top and his old, worn leather jacket. His hair was still wet from the shower and I could smell the cologne from across the room. It was a heady, masculine scent of spice and musk without being overpowering.

---

Yeah. I knew what my cologne did to him. I knew exactly what I did to him when I dressed like this. And it was just far too entertaining for me.

He'd never admit it in a thousand years. But I knew exactly why he left the room when I entered. I knew why he avoided my eyes. I knew what it is he thought when he ran into me on his way into the gym as I left, sweaty and flushed after a hard workout. I also knew he would never act on those desires.

So I took every chance I could to get under the guy's skin. Having him in denial and simultaneously mooning over me was getting on my nerves. If he wasn't going to act on his impulses, then I was damn well going to make him act on them. It's not like the attraction was one-sided, after all. Those dark eyes did things to me I wouldn't admit to anyone. At least not until I got the Chinese object of my wet dreams to see things my way.

---

"'Fei?" He gave me a look that said he saw the expression on my face. That Cheshire grin said he knew what he was doing and that he did so intentionally.

I fought to clear my throat and regain composure before responding. "What, Maxwell?"

"Wanna go for a ride?"

By all that was unjust and wrong, did I.

He stood there staring at me with that wry grin until I finally yanked my mind out of the gutter and nodded. "Sure. Where?"

The grin on his face spread so it now reached ear to ear. "Oh, no where in particular. I just figured since I got that old car running finally, that I might take it for a ride. Thought you might like to join."

---

I knew he'd take the bait. Not to sound—ok, so it may be a little conceited—I'm just too irresistible. Besides, it had taken me ages to find all the parts and get that Trans Am up and running again. She was almost as sexy as me. But then again she was a 1979 American beauty of a car. Words can't begin to tell how thrilled I was to get my hands on her body and—well, you get the idea.

---

Calmly, I replaced the bookmark and deposited the text on the side table. "I suppose." Doing my best to maintain composure, I crossed the room and slipped past him to the front door. I swear I could hear him purr as I passed. Then again, this was Maxwell and he did as he pleased whenever he pleased with no regards as to what others thought of it. With that in mind, I shouldn't have been surprised when he followed behind, walking in that rolling, fluid step that reminded me of a cat. A cat stalking its prey.

I slipped on my shoes and did my best to look as disinterested as possible as he lead the way out to where the refinished vehicle waited on the side of the road. I must admit, Maxwell did an excellent job restoring it. Especially considering how difficult it had been for him to find the appropriate pieces or acceptable substitutes for each part.

"She still needs new paint, but I can't wait to get her on the road." His voice dripped of sensuality as he trailed a hand along the hood of the car. "I thought the name Persephone fit."

I couldn't help the small chuckle that came out as I paused at the passenger door. "Persephone? Daughter of Demeter and wife of Hades?"

"Yup."

"So then you plan to return her to her mother during the warm months of the year?"

He gave me a dark scowl before sliding into the driver's seat and starting the engine.

---

Yeah, so the guy was right. I didn't care. Besides, you don't pick the name. The car does. So, there.

Damn, did that engine purr when I started her! God, I could almost get a hard-on just listening to that sound.

I glanced at Wufei and could see that he felt it, too. There was an intangible air of sex in this car. And I hadn't even jerked off in here yet. She was just that sexy.

---

I could hear the rumble in his chest as he chuckled and hit the gas, sending the car down the road in a cloud of exhaust.

"Take it easy, Maxwell. You want a ticket before you've had her running for a full day?"

He just laughed and gunned the engine harder. One hand dug into the seat and the other clenched the fabric of my slacks as he took off. I'd never been more thankful for seatbelts than at that moment. His hand gripped the wheel tighter as the other caressed the gearshift. I had to work to suppress my groan at the thought that image presented to my mind.

He continued to fling the car around turns as if the Hounds of Hell were on his tail. The car would growl as she jerked around to the right before Maxwell stomped the break and brought her down to a calm left turn. Then we'd start all over again as he flung around to the right again.

We continued to climb up the hillside just outside town. Quatre purchased the house as a place for us all to retreat to whenever we needed a 'break from the world' as he had termed it. It would figure that I would choose to stay there the same time as Maxwell. I couldn't avoid him anywhere. I'd been able to push aside my feelings until he'd turned up on the doorstep a few weeks ago. I knew I should have left then.

I tried convincing myself that I wanted to leave: that I could leave whenever I so chose. But now that I was sitting in the passenger seat of his car, I began to doubt the truth of that statement.

---

Glancing at him sideways, I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying anything. Oh yeah. It was working. The combination of adrenaline from the drive and from being trapped in a small space with me was most definitely getting to the Chinese pilot.

He could only resist for so long. Only so long.

Not much longer. Too bad he didn't know it yet. He would soon though.

Suppressing another laugh, I continued to push Persephone to her limits as we drove up the hill. I knew where I was going. I'd scouted it out a week ago. As I said, I was going to force Wufei into action. He had that ponytail pulled so tight that it was going to take the equivalent of a bat to the face to get him to come around. But he would come.

I giggled to myself at the play on words and flung around another tight turn.

---

I was just beginning to question my sanity for getting into the car with Maxwell when he finally dropped speed and we pulled into a small break in the trees near the top of the hill. Releasing the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding I looked over at the braided idiot.

He yanked up on the emergency brake, unclicked his safety belt and turned to face me, that Cheshire grin on his face once more. I could have sworn it suddenly got ten degrees hotter in that car. Forcing myself to remain as calm as possible, I undid my own belt and looked at him.

"What?" I hoped he didn't hear that slight quiver in my voice. The last thing I needed was to explain things to Maxwell while we sat in the tiny cab in the dark. When had the sun set? I'd been to lost in hoping I survived his hairpin turns, I didn't notice the sun go down.

---

Oh yeah. If there was any doubt before, he sure as hell felt it now. I could feel my grin spread as I leaned a fraction closer. I didn't cross the center console yet. Didn't want to scare him off. But I did want to get closer.

"What did you think?" I left of with a deep breath, enjoying the sensation as adrenaline started to course through my veins. The prospect of how close I was to my goal was tantalizing. I was so close I swear I could taste the sweat that beaded on his skin already. "Well?" My voice purred as I locked eyes with his.

Damn. He had no idea how sexy those dark eyes were. Especially when he was in denial of his own attraction. It took every ounce of control to remind myself to keep it slow. I wanted to jump his bones, not scare his bones out of him.

---

Yeah. The temperature had certainly gone up several degrees. I could feel the sweat running down my neck. The intensity of his eyes kept me pinned to my seat. Swallowing hard, I met his gaze and nodded. "It runs well. You did a good job."

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest so hard, I'm certain he could hear it himself. Again I swallowed, willing my pulse to slow down. Hoping that he didn't notice just what it was he was doing to my self control.

---

Screw it. I was done waiting for him. Bat in the face it was.

"So, you liked that?"

---

By all that was good, I swear he just purred those words. Was he getting closer?

---

"Well?" Slowly, I inched closer until I was almost nose-to-nose with the Chinese pilot.

---

My heart pounded harder, leaping from my chest, past my throat and to my ears with one beat. His voice was husky and his breath was intoxicating. The scent of his cologne filled the cab and I could almost taste the words as they left his mouth. I wanted to taste that mouth.

---

Now was my chance. I could see as his eyes clouded with the same lust I felt and I smiled. No turning back now…

Carefully, I climbed over the divide between our seats and settled my legs on either side of his lap. My right hand braced against the back of his seat next to his head as my left hand reached down and jerked the release handle, sending the back of the seat down hard.

We stopped with a jerk and my hips ground into his as I grinned over him. Damn, that surprised look on his face only made me want to move faster.

"Hey."

---

Fuck.

I bit my bottom lip as his hips thrust into mine, leaving no doubt as to what his feelings were. At this point I didn't care if it was the car ride, the cologne, or Maxwell himself. I wanted him. Bad.

---

"So, 'Fei." My voice oozed seduction as I leaned down and whispered, lowering my lips to nibble along his jawline. "Still planning on avoiding me?"

I felt his breath catch in his throat as he swallowed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes with a groan. "That would be very difficult in our current position, Maxwell."

A soft chuckle escaped my lips as I moved up toward his ear, catching the lobe gently between my teeth. I purred and lowered one hand from the back of the seat, where I'd caught myself in our descent, to the waist band of his pants. "I'm sure you're right. So what do you propose we do about it, then?"

---

His fingers ghosted over my chest and found a grip on the top of my slacks. I fought hard to control another groan. Never had I thought to actually be in a situation like this with the braided pilot. And now that I was, my brain couldn't process the events fast enough for me to have a coherent thought of any sort.

What did I propose? I propose that he finish the job he hinted at and do something about the sudden lack of slack in my pants.

---

Oh yeah. He wanted it. He wanted it almost as bad as I did. Almost.

Shifting so my hips pressed into him a little more, I left no room for doubt about my intentions.

I chuckled as his breath hissed through his teeth and his hands gripped my hips, pulling them closer.

"Is there something you want, Wufei?" The words rolled from my lips as I rocked into him again, thrusting against the hardness in his pants with my own. Damn, just thinking about where this situation could go made my own heart race.

---

My eyes slit open to meet his. Yes. It took a moment before I realized I hadn't said that out loud.

"Yes."

I let my fingers of one hand dig into his hip as I used the other to take hold of the back of his neck and pulled him into a bruising kiss.

---

It was sinfully sweet. His lips tasted like a forbidden candy when they met mine.

Fuck me did I want him bad.

My hands dipped below his waistline and teased along the skin just above where we met.

Reluctantly, I pulled away from the kiss to look down at him. "Commando?" I raised an eyebrow at that. Not what I had expected for the pilot who seemed to always have his panties in a bunch.

---

I growled as his hand hesitated over my skin. "It's comfortable. And right now I'm thankful for the extra room. Now shut up and follow through."

---

"Yes, sir!" My chuckle turned into a purr as my hand dipped lower. Returning to those delicious lips, I smiled to myself.

My car was going to smell like sex for weeks.

Fan-fuckin'-tastic!

* * *

Song: Hey Pretty -- Poe (both the original and the 2001 Drive-In remix as I have both back to back in my iTunes)


End file.
